I just don't know how I fail so spectacularly at this. I start to keep this blog going and then...nothing. I am terrible at this, especially when I come home at night to an empty house and still do...nothing. I know, it is down right sad and I can't seem to stop doing it!
Today is my Friday. I have much to do. My mom will have to have shoulder replacement surgery soon and I will be spending time in west Texas with her during that time. My daughter and her family will need a place to crash between domiciles for a week or three, or whatever it turns out to be. My son, thank goodness, is working and going to summer school at Texas Tech, so he is somewhat taken care of.
Can it really be that Friday begins the month of July? I am shocked at how much faster time goes by these days. However, I am ready for late December and not just because of Christmas, which I love. My new grand baby will be here then. So excited to be exposed to new born baby smell. So, so sweet.
One of these days I will be more regimented about this blog. Famous last words, I know.
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Crisis Modes
So much to say and not to. So much is happening in our world and so much is overblown and out of proportion. In light of that, so many other things are ignored and put aside that need attention paid.
I love my state, but goodness. Ebola is a problem and should be addressed, but between the State of Texas, the media, and Federal government, you would think we were in the middle of the worst pandemic in the history of the U.S.
We are not. (I was beginning to get flashbacks from Hollywood and to the movie “OUTBREAK”. Remember? Dustin Hoffman, Morgan Freeman, Cuba Gooding, Rene Russo? A virus in Africa that Department of Defense new about but kept the cure hidden and then when it came to the U.S., it was too late because it had mutated so they were going to quarantine a whole town and nuke it to keep the cure a secret? UGH.)
YES, it is a horrible disease that can kill, but have you noticed that in this country, where we have decent healthcare (not matter how botched the process supposedly was) and, with the exception of one person (due to the delay in diagnosis in my opinion,) all have recovered? That reconfirms to me the problem, which the World Health Organization and every other charitable health organization have also stated, is linked to inadequate healthcare infrastructure, availability of doctors, the cultural stigma and fear of the peoples effected due to incorrect information and fear mongering, and a lack of funds to help eliminate the previously listed issues in the African nations where it is indeed a pandemic.
It is sad…but true, and until addressed, will not change.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Another School Year…
So, my youngest is begins his third year of college. His second away from home. It’s time to think about me now. Everyone says so! Easier said than done.
Another attempt at living alone.
I know I can do it. In fact, I really enjoy the alone time…when I want it. Problem is the youngest came home for the summer, and while he wasn’t in the room with me all the time, I knew he was around. However, it is more than likely the last time he will be back. Oh sure, I will see him at holidays. Maybe. But, I doubt he will ever live under my roof full-time again. That is the way it should be, but I dread it.
So far, living alone has had a limited time line to it. He’ll be back at Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then Spring Break, etc. But now, I realize that I have to do something about it if I don’t want to be “alone” in my house or any other way for the rest of my life. That is downright intimidating and scary to contemplate. I have been single for 20 years. Sounds awful when I think about it that way.
Many of my friends wonder, “why?” Well, me too, actually. LOL
Sadly, I do know. It was a choice. I believe I needed to be there for my children. I am glad I was. I saw, and still see, many single mothers spending so much time chasing another relationship that they miss enjoying the one right in front of them…with their kids! My children also saw how often their father changed/es mates, e.g., he’s on wife number 4 now. I don’t want them to think relationships are disposable, even with all the evidence to the contrary in their lives.
The thought of dating scares the hell out of me.
It literally makes my brain freeze and words seize my throat closed! I have dated only two people for any length of time in my life. One in high school and the other during college. I was engaged to the first one, broke up my freshman year of college, then married the second one after a year engagement when I was 22.
I’ve been on a total of two dates in the last 20 years and believe they were both disasters. Why? I wasn’t ready. And, I have no idea how to act. Both of my previous relationships began out of friendships. I didn’t have to try them on in front of a bunch of people first. I already knew we got along and had things in common. Now that I am no longer in my 20s, I have no idea how you go about the process of meeting people, much less how it goes forward to any next step. I am a novice and it shows. My lack of comfortableness is a neon sign, I am sure. Sure, my marriage burned me, but it isn’t why I haven’t dated. It’s me and my inability to just let things happen and have no control over the outcome. The unknown. It is like space…the final frontier. Too bad I am not the Starship Enterprise and prepared for the mission. I know. I need help.
Until next time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)